Monday, September 29, 2008

Wedding Crasher.

wedding. marriage.
The words I absolutely cant stand being brought up around me at the moment.
(that and the word moist...EW!!)
But, for some reason wedding and marriage has been all around me lately.
I don't know if it's a sign that I need to get married right now or if people just like to bug me with it.
I'll start with the weddings I have been to recently...
I have been to 2 weddings in the past 2 weeks and I have 1 more in a week or so.
That means sitting through another dumb typical mormon reception, which, I can't stand.
I mean when people can start telling exactly what's going to happen at the reception we have a serious problem...
The reception:
-a picture movie playing about 3 or 4 country songs that everyone always picks.
-either crescent roll sandwhichs or fruit you can dip in chocolate.
-quick dance between the couple making everyone stand there and watch.
-the couple sitting in line for like 3 hours greeting the neverending population of mormon friends.
-eating the nasty gross cake that is hard as a rock and hardly tastes like cake at all.
I'm just saying if I can call what exactly is going to happen in that 3 hours of time then why do I have to go anyways. I mean, I can congradulate them any time after their honeymoon and give them their gift on my own time without having to take time out of my life to sit there doing nothing exciting at all.
You can call me selfish. When it comes to mormon receptions I would rather throwup in my mouth and swallow it then half to go to another one. I think the only reason I continue to go to them is because I do like dressing up sometimes and maybe just maybe there will be a cute single boy there (but mormon receptions guest list, atleast in Utah, consist of married people or people about to get married or people who brought dates...NOONE EVER GOES ALONE except me.).
I don't wanna sound to down on my friends and family who have done mormon receptions in the past or who are planning one in the near future, I just know I will not be one to fall into that category.
More reason's why it's been in my life more...
So, I'm 21 I'll be 22 in February and in Utah years that's pretty old maybe even spinster status when it comes to not being married yet. I mean once you pass 19 either something is wrong with you or your being pressured to hurry and find someone to get married too.
My family for instants, I love them to death, but recently they have been letting me know that I am getting to that age where I should probably start looking in the direction of finding a mate, my other half. My whole family has never been like this in the 21 years of our knowing eachother. They have always said, "Your time will come, dont rush it, live life, blah blah blah." So, it's weird to me that they are now, not necessarily pushing, but encouraging me to start maybe looking in that direction.
Not only do I have my family saying this stuff, but I happened to go to a friends single's ward on BYU campus and realized that that's all they talk about at the wards. It was all about girls start inviting good RM's in your life cook them dinner and play some games. Guys, you need to stop being pimps and players and start looking for those ladies who are going to be your one and only. Pretty much they are saying, you people are getting older and you need to start acting like it.
Also, I find myself planning my wedding. With all this wedding talk it's hard not to think about what I'm gonna do for mine. Maybe it's because I have been to so many mormon receptions i want mine to be better and perfect and to make a perfect wedding it takes some time to plan it might as well get it started, UNLESS somehow without actually knowing I somehow know I'll be getting married sometime in the near future...
I take these as signs in letting me know I should probably start looking and getting ready for that marriage age, but I don't want too. I mean I wouldn't mind having a boyfriend, but I feel way to immature and to young to get married right now. I like to have fun and honestly I have only lived 21.5 years of my long life I still have a while before I need to get married and have a family. I mean think about how much life I have to live, I can wait. Not saying that if the so called "RIGHT GUY" comes along I wont get myself married, I'm just saying that I dont need to look for him. I'm gonna keep on playing and living life to its fullest and maybe that guy will come along eventually.
Right now, I think why I'm venting about marriage and wedding and all that jazz is because I'm sick of watching everyone get hitched and I'm still alone....even the younger kiddies are getting married.
I don't know if any of this makes sense to any of you, it makes sense to me in my head. All I know is I am very content with MY life, who's in it, and where I'm going.
I guess marriage comes when it come and I'll be as ready as I can be.

Monday, September 22, 2008

growing up.

Growing up is hard.

I would know. I have been out of high school for going on 4 years now, still live at home, and I play more then I make money.

I have recently decided that the only way im going to get anything done in life is if I get out of Utah and start over. GO TO COLLEGE. I need an education.

So, I have pretty much decided on 2 colleges in California. SADDLEBACK and VENTURA.

Both pretty good and both have photography programs.
Hmmm tough decisions. Either way I think I would enjoy it.

All I know is California better get ready!!

On a side note:
Today is Monday.

If your a girl and dont know what that means, we have a serious problem on our hands.


tonight at 7 is gonna be soooo amazing
BE THERE and favorite show..


Tuesday, September 9, 2008

My Life As I Know It.

Do you know when you get the urge to do something spectacular with your life?! Something that's gonna make you so happy, even when you're not quite sure what it is.
Well, today I had that feeling. That feeling to get out of my house and out in the world. I'm not sure what it means at the moment, but I'm going to start doing more of what I love and start working on a photography portfolio and traveling. Of course this means I will need more money which also means I need another job, but, I know this is what I want to do more then anything in the world right now and I have never been so sure on something in my entire life.
I heard a really great quote today that made me think (hey maybe that's why I got the urge to start doing something with my life). It stated....

"Take action or you'll miss your moment!"

I am not the typical person who usually gets feelings about something she reads or hears, but, for this strange reason this quote really hit me and hit me hard.
I want to do something with my life. I want to get out there and show people what I'm really capable of doing. I want people to know I'm not wasting my life away living at my mom's house still and hardly working (it's gonna change).
I have goals. I want to be known. I want to do something I love. I want to make tons of money and not have to worry about the small stuff. I want to eventually have a family, but be able to help support them and that wont happen without the one before. HA! I just know it needs to be done and soon. Life is short and time is going by way to quickly for my taste and I thought I was making the most out of it by hanging out and doing EVERYTHING I possibly could in a 24 hour period, but it's not all about the parties or what's playing in the movies this month, it's about being productive and having the best life you could possibly have.
Which, I am not saying my life so far hasn't been everything I have ever dreamed of. I'm just saying having a career, having money, having family and friends that stand by you in everything you do, and just knowing that you have a future and its going to be great no matter what, makes me happier then anything I could purchase at the mall or any must go to party of the year.

Tomorrow, I will start a new day and a new Ashley. I couldn't be happier...